Edward's Real Size
by X-Feli-Chan-X
Summary: Mustang's men think it's a good idea to fight Ed, and so, after they all head to the shers and discover the truth.  RoyXEd


**So this is in honor of episode 29 of FMA brotherhood ^^**

**I so do hope you'll all enjoy it!**

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Havoc hu ffed as he got up from the ground where Edward had thrown him. He rubbed his sore back as he headed over to where Hawkeye stood holding out a towel and water bottle for him to take. Havoc took both and sat down with the others. Out on the parade grounds, Edward stretched out his arms before looking back to the others on the bench; all who had clumps of dirt in their hair, bruises, and looked overall dirty and tired-out.

Everyone in Mustang's office had thought it would be interesting to see how well Edward could fight without using alchemy, so they arranged to meet Edward on the parade grounds the next day. 'They' consisted of: Armstrong, Falman, Breda, Fuery, and Havoc. Hawkeye couldn't be bothered to fight, though she did come to watch in mild interest. Mustang had come down as well; he observed with his first lieutenant.

"Well," Edward started as he walked toward the group, "I'm going to the showers."

He sent a suspicious glare to the colonel, before rushing into Headquarters; leaving his beaten opponents behind to pick themselves up.

"I can't believe the brat beat me!" Havoc shouted as he and the others limped down the hall to the locker room.

"Well, he's been training for years and he has gotten into more hands-on combat then we ever have and –"

"Shut up, Falman!" Fuery sighed as he adjusted his scratched glasses. They had gotten into that condition by slipping off his face while he was running from Edward. "Guys, we shouldn't have even bothered with it. It was stupid to even try."

"Oh, I don't know about that, Sergeant," The colonel voiced his thoughts with a smirk as he held open the door for his subordinates. "It's showed me that I'll have to go searching for new recruits!" As Roy laughed heartily, his underlings trudged into the locker room. Roy followed, closing the door behind them.

"Hey Colonel?" Breda piped up. "What're you doing here? You didn't fight the kid."

"I have a hot date tonight; I figure I should wash up here." As he walked past, Havoc grumbled about how it was probably_ his_ latest crush.

They all grabbed towels and proceeded to strip their dirty uniforms off.

"Hey-!" All heads turned toward Havoc. "The chief's in here- First time using military showers, right?"

"So?" Breda rolled his eyes as he wrapped his towel around himself.

"Well, we all know his height is…lacking." The chain-smoker mouthed the last word, as if Edward would hear him from across the locker room. "So what about the /rest/ of him?"

Eyebrows were raised and some of them chuckled. Fuery and Falman were lost for words and Breda was trying his hardest not to laugh. "I gotta say, probably pretty damn small!"

"Heh, what about you, Boss? What do you have to say to this?" Roy had his back turned to them as he sifted through the clothes he had placed in his locker. "I think that you'll just have to see for yourselves." Havoc his eyebrow suspiciously at his superior officer. "Do you know something we don't?" But before he could interrogate said superior, Armstrong butted into the conversation.

"Gentlemen, it is not polite to talk down of another man's nether regions! It's not as though one can control their endowment!" Armstrong stood with his hands on the knot of the towel that had been wrapped around his waist. He grabbed the edge of it and began to pull so it came undone with what he said next. "Though it /has/ been passed down through the Armstrong line for generations; the growth of an Armstrong's pen-"

"No! Oh, God no!" All of Mustang's men covered their eyes, as they were level with Armstrong.

Havoc stood from the bench and started to lead the group toward the steamy showers when he realized the colonel wasn't following. "Oi! You comin' or not?"

The colonel had yet to undress and was still sifting through the locker. "I'll follow in a minute." As he shook his head and continued marching, he could have sworn he heard Mustang chuckling.

Once at the showers, Havoc rounded the corner first.  
"So, Chief, how's it…go…ing…" His jaw gradually dropped.

Fuery was next and the moment he saw Ed, his face turned a bright red. The same happened with Falman. Breda was left stuttering, "No way," under his breath. All three of them were standing by Havoc's sides when Armstrong, who towered above and stood behind them, muttered, "Not even the Armstrongs are…"

Edward chose this moment to turn and face them head-on, his hands still lathering his hair with shampoo. He smiled a little and uttered a friendly, "Hey."

Roy then moved Falman and Havoc out of his way and hung his towel next to Ed's. Then he took a spot directly in front of the blonde, efficiently obscuring him from view. His subordinates dragged their eyes up toward their superior's. The look clearly was one of predatory dominance as he wrapped his arms around the small blonde's waist.

Edward blushed and let out a surprised squeak as Roy's  
hand wrapped around him and squeezed gently. The other five men began to back out of the shower area, their eyes wide with shock at the boldness of their superior.  
Havoc was the first to figure out why Roy had answered the way he had earlier, the others figured it out when Roy rested his head on the startled alchemist's shoulder. Giving another squeeze, he narrowed his eyes and declared,

"Mine."


End file.
